Oh friends, I’m glad you’re here with me. This has been something I’ve been putting off for a very long time.
I started Let’s Cut the Cake last year with the intention of sharing all the good, bad, and messy parts of wedding planning. Because being a part of dozens of weddings up til that point really doesn’t prepare you for the planning part! I wanted to share all of the logistics, and our feelings about it too. I anticipated some things being harder to share about.
April was going to be full of posts about us counting down the days, raving about our vendors, sharing the little details we’re so excited about.
But like all of us, we came to a suddenly standstill. You know what I didn’t anticipate? Adding a “global pandemic” section to this series. But here we are.
This has been weighing very heavy on me, but I think it’s important to share this update because we are definitely not alone in this.
The last few weeks we’ve been in limbo
When we first talked to Ashley (our beloved, human angel planner) about it at the end of March, we were all unsure. We weren’t even talking about changing dates yet, just considering the possibility. I mean, things should die down by May right?? Nope.
She told us what she had been telling her March brides that needed to reschedule: it’s a grieving process.
That is truly the best way to describe it! We have gone through every single stage of grieving. We were definitely in the denial phase for a long time. And it’s taken me the last few months to get to the acceptance part. That’s how I was able to finally sit down and write this!
A few people in our lives were being overly optimistic up until the decision. A few people were being surprisingly pessimistic. Now I know that it was me taking it personally, but before it felt like they were being insensitive.
Being in this waiting stage was the absolute worst part of it. It’s something I imagine a lot of couples are currently going through. Even fall brides, I’m sure are anticipating the approaching decision stage and how awful it will be.
Considering changing your oncoming wedding date is obviously on all of our minds. But once you hit that week or two period where you really need to call it. The period of hoping for a dramatic shift to right this whole thing.
There’s really nothing you can do to prepare for that. Or even cope with it. You just have to live through it.
Making the decision
We were originally planning on waiting until April 3rd to make the final call for our May 16th wedding. Most of the ordinances put out by the CDC or Travis county were due to end on the 3rd. When we planned to wait til then, we were hopeful that it would have mostly blown over and we would be on the other side.
As the days went on, we grew less and less hopeful.
The start of last week, we facetimed with Ashley (I can’t tell you how wonderful it was to see her face!) and told her we were ready to call it.
By that point, we had a few family members let us know they wouldn’t be able to travel no matter what. It honestly felt like the decision was made for us.
Now here’s the messy part
When looking at our own availability for the year, we started out with 4 weekends that would work.
We didn’t want to be sandwiched between two other booked weekends, or have our wedding the day after we shot one of our couples’. Not only for our own benefit of enjoying the whole weekend, but because our couples deserve to have our full attention! And the day before our wedding I can promise my mind is going to be somewhere else.
We took our four available weekends and cross referenced with Paige. Not only because she’s our vendor, but because she has equally busy weekends, and she needed to be there!!! Based on her available dates, we were down to 3 weekends and just two Saturdays.
Then after talking to Ashley and our venue, we were down to two days. A Sunday in late August and a Sunday in early November.
If you’re a Texan or have ever visited, the choice probably seems pretty clear that we should not be outside during late August. You wouldn’t be wrong, friend.
However, from the start that November day didn’t feel right to me. Maybe that the season would be so different, or that it’s close to six months away. We weighed all the options, but in the back of my mind I knew it had to be summer.
The main tipping point was that we had August totally free of weddings and shoots. Do you know why we have August totally free? Because it’s miserable outside and I actively turn down shoots and weddings in August. Yikes.
But we’re going to make it work
Seriously – I cannot ever say this enough – we are so lucky to have Ashley on our side. She has unwavering faith and enthusiasm for us and our wedding, whenever and however it may turn out. She’s been fully supportive of whatever decision we made, and always continues to push forward throughout all of this. We would be totally and completely lost, probably devastated about all of this without her.
Immediately she gave us all these great ideas to cope with the heat. Not just things that would make it bearable but actually fun. Things I’m really looking forward to now!
I still get a little pang in my gut whenever I think about how close we used to be to our date. I had to take 2 crying breaks while writing this. It’s a process and it’s messy and that’s okay.
Click here to read part two.