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Oh friends, I’m glad you’re here with me. This has been something I’ve been putting off for the last week or so.
I started Let’s Cut the Cake last year with the intention of sharing all the good, bad, and messy parts of wedding planning. Lots of logistics but our feelings about it too. I anticipated some things being harder to share about.
April was going to be full of posts about us counting down the days, raving about our vendors, sharing the little details we’re so excited about.
But like all of us, we came to a suddenly standstill. You know what I didn’t anticipate? Adding a “global pandemic” section to this series. But here we are.
This has been weighing very heavy on me, but I think it’s important to share this update because we are definitely not alone in this.
When we first talked to Ashley about it – we weren’t even talking about changing dates yet, just considering the possibility. She told us what she had been telling her March brides that needed to reschedule: it’s a grieving process.
That’s the best way to describe it! We were definitely in the denial phase for a long time. And it’s taken me the last few weeks to get to the acceptance part. That’s how I was able to write this whole thing!
A few people in our lives were being overly optimistic up until the decision. A few people were being surprisingly pessimistic. Now I know that it was me taking it personally, but before it felt like they were being insensitive.
Being in this waiting stage was the absolute worst part of it. It’s something I imagine a lot of couples are currently going through. Even fall brides, I’m sure are anticipating the approaching decision stage and how awful it will be.
Considering changing your oncoming wedding date is obviously on all of our minds. But once you hit that week or two period where you really need to call it. The period of hoping for a dramatic shift to right this whole thing.
There’s really nothing you can do to prepare for that. Or even cope with it. You just have to live through it.
We were originally planning on waiting until April 3rd. Most of the ordinances put out by the CDC or Travis county were due to end on the 3rd. When planned to wait til then, we were hopeful that it would have mostly blown over and we would be on the other side.
As the days went on, we grew less and less hopeful.
The start of last week, we facetimed with Ashley (I can’t tell you how wonderful it was to see her face!) and told her we were ready to call it.
By that point, we had a few family members let us know they wouldn’t be able to travel no matter what. It honestly felt like the decision was made for us.
When looking at our own availability for the year, we started out with 4 weekends that would work.
We didn’t want to be sandwiched between two other booked weekends, or have our wedding the day after we shot one of our couples’. Not only for our own benefit of enjoying the whole weekend, but because our couples deserve to have our full attention! And the day before our wedding I can promise my mind is going to be somewhere else.
We took our four available weekends and cross referenced with Paige. Not only because she’s our vendor, but because she has equally busy weekends, and she needed to be there!!! Based on her available dates, we were down to 3 weekends and just two Saturdays.
Then after talking to Ashley and our venue, we were down to two days. A Sunday in late August and a Sunday in early November.
If you’re a Texan or have ever visited, the choice probably seems pretty clear that we should not be outside during late August. You wouldn’t be wrong, friend.
However, from the start that November day didn’t feel right to me. Maybe that the season would be so different, or that it’s close to six months away. We weighed all the options, but in the back of my mind I knew it had to be summer.
The main tipping point was that we had August totally free of weddings and shoots. Do you know why we have August totally free? Because it’s miserable outside and I actively turn down shoots and weddings in August. Yikes.
Seriously – I cannot ever say this enough – we are so lucky to have Ashley on our side. She has unwavering faith and enthusiasm for us and our wedding, whenever and however it may turn out. She’s been fully supportive of whatever decision we made, and always continues to push forward throughout all of this. We would be totally and completely lost, probably devastated about all of this without her.
Immediately she gave us all these great ideas to cope with the heat. Not just things that would make it bearable but actually fun. Things I’m really looking forward to now!
I still get a little pang in my gut whenever I think about how close we used to be to our date. I had to take 2 crying breaks while writing this. It’s a process and it’s messy and that’s okay.
– Give yourself full permission to grieve. Don’t let yourself feel guilty or think that it’s just minor and not worth the brain space. You can feel compassion for the rest of the world and all that is happening, and still grieve for yourself. These are not mutually exclusive.
– Lean on your fiancé and vise versa as much as you need to. At first I think AJ and I were letting it get between us and not trying hard enough to be a team. But the best thing we can do right now is to figure out how to grieve and process together.
– Take it day by day. That is the only way that we have been getting through this. Each day is different, and with time it gets easier and easier.
If you’re going through any of this right now please feel free to reach out to me! I feel like we first started dealing with all this, I was searching for resources to help me sort through everything I was feeling and I couldn’t find much. So my hope is that if you’re reading this now that you feel seen and heard and that you’re not alone! If you’re feeling alone, you’re not. We all might be a little lost right now, but you are definitely not alone.
We are an Austin, Texas-based wedding photography duo committed to celebrating your Big Day by capturing every joyous, unscripted moment.